


can't help falling in love

by goofball46



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 11:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3935416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goofball46/pseuds/goofball46
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>bellamy blake is really in love with raven reyes. but that's not what it's about. it's not about feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	can't help falling in love

When she comes to him, stands in front of him in his tent with her hair down and her eyes burning into his, he expects her kiss to be rough, bruising. That’s how it’s supposed to be, right? It’s supposed to be angry and uncaring; they’re supposed to leave marked by teeth and nails, because it’s not really about each other. But when she leans up on her toes, her hand snaking around to the back of his neck to pull him closer, he finds that it’s anything but.

Raven is almost painfully gentle with him, her lips soft but assertive, and though the intensity increases as she pulls off his shirt and tugs him down to the bed, it never becomes any less gentle. He knows it’s about Finn, but with her way her hands grab his shoulders when he rocks his hips up against hers, he can almost pretend that it’s something that means more than it does.

When she whispers his name and not Finn’s, it’s a victory of sorts, and he buries his head into her hair and reminds himself that this isn’t about _feelings._

-

“What’s wrong?” he asks. She rolls her eyes in response, and he really should’ve known not to ask.

“Wick’s just being a dick,” she responds. She’s toying with something that he can’t see over her shoulder, and it makes a metallic clinking noise when she makes a jerky movement. “Don’t worry about it.”

He resists a comment about how he wasn’t worried, because they both know that he was. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.” She spins around in her chair, leaning back against the table to look up at him. “What do you want?”

He shrugs. “Nothing.”

Her jaw clenches and she turns back around to fiddle with whatever metal she was working at earlier. “He’s just frustrating, you know?” He nods, even though he doesn’t, and she lets out an exasperated huff and drops the metal to turn back around. “He knew going into this that it wasn’t going to be anything more than it is. I just… I needed to let off steam, and now he’s being an asshole about it. I wish it were like…” She catches herself before she continues. He watches her silently, giving her time to collect her thoughts. She gives a breathy half-laugh, shaking her head. “I don’t know why I’m telling _you_ this.”

“You can talk to me, Raven.”

“I know.” She pushes one hand back over her hair, raking her nails against her scalp. “It was easier with you.”

There’s some part of him that excites at the idea that she thinks he’s better than her boyfriend or whatever the fuck they are. Most of him just wants to punch Wick in the face for being an asshole. And somewhere, a small part of him remembers that he shouldn’t care, that this isn’t about _feelings_.

“I should go check on Octavia,” he mumbles.

“Yeah,” she says. “Okay.” She picks up the metal and doesn’t watch him leave.

-

She’s been getting closer to Wick and it hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Octavia’s noticed how Bellamy’s been distracted lately, and he’s pretty sure she has a decent guess about why, but he’s been keeping himself busy enough that she doesn’t have time to confront him about it, and he sends a silent _thank you_ to Indra because she fills Octavia’s days with training so he can avoid the questions he doesn’t want to answer.

Raven’s been working on their weapons. Wick’s been helping her with it, and it seems like she’s gotten over being annoyed by him if the way they’re always less than a foot apart is any indication.

One of the guys jokes to him that he needs to get laid, and Bellamy nearly chokes, because a year ago, that’s exactly what he would’ve done. He would’ve found the closest willing girl and they would’ve stayed in his tent until he forgot all about soft lips and dark eyes and caring too much. Now, though, the thought sickens him. He doesn’t want to touch anyone but _her_ , and she’s with Wick.

When he thinks about them together, about Raven kissing Wick as gently as she kissed him, he wants to throw up.

-

She kisses like it’s the end of the world, and maybe it is, after everything that’s happened. They need to figure out how to live again, and with Clarke’s absence hitting the camp hard, they turn to the simple pleasures they have remaining. In Raven’s case, that’s sex. In Bellamy’s case, that’s Raven. He holds her tighter than he should when she kisses his neck, and his fingers dig into the skin of her back like he’s afraid to let her go. Maybe he is. After everything they’ve lost, he can’t lose her, too.

“Why aren’t you with Wick right now?”

Her mouth stop against his collarbone and she pulls back to look at him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Raven.”

“Wick’s being an asshole. You’re-”

“It’s easier with me,” he finishes for her, and she nods.

“Yeah.”

“But why?”

Raven distracts herself by running her fingers over his chest.

“Raven…”

“Wick just cares about himself. It’s different with you.” She won’t meet his eyes. “You care.” It would be so easy for him say that he doesn’t, that it’s just sex, that it doesn’t mean anything. But he can’t help but think back to every time he’s seen her hurt and it’s almost as painful as watching something happen to Octavia, so yeah, he cares.

“I’m sorry.”

She rolls her eyes and presses her lips to his skin. “Don’t be.”

-

“What the hell do you want?”

“What’s wrong, Raven?”

“Nothing’s fucking wrong!”

“You’re crying.”

Her nails dig into the table, her fingertips whitening at the pressure. He can see the tension coiled in her back, can sense it pouring off of her in waves. “I’m just…” She lets out a shuddering breath. “I just so fucking sick of this.”

“Of what?”

“All of it.” She releases the table, sinking down onto a chair. She looks defeated, and his heart aches with the desire to help her. “I’m sick of my _fucking_ leg not working. I’m sick of people trying to kill us. I’m sick of being useless.”

“You’re not useless.”

“You don’t understand.” Raven swipes angrily at her eyes. “They don’t need me like they need you.”

“ _I_ need you.”

Raven’s eyes flick up to meet his. _Shit_. “What did you say?”

He looks away. “We wouldn’t have survived without you, Raven. We all need you.”

“That’s not what you said.” She stands and he doesn’t have to look to know that they’re only inches apart. She’s more vulnerable than she pretends to be, and when a hand on his cheek turns his head to look at her, he can see that reflected in her eyes. This kiss is desperate and still so soft and he has the horrible, sudden thought that he could hurt her so easily. He pulls away and he still won’t look at her. “Bellamy…”

“I can’t do this, Raven.”

“Bellamy.”

“I can’t.” He _can’t_ because she has Wick and she can’t give him what he wants. “I’ve gotta go.”

He doesn’t turn back.

-

“I’m done with Wick.”

Later he’ll think enough to wonder why she came to tell him. “Yeah?” He could kick himself for how hopeful he sounds, but Raven doesn’t seem to care.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Her silence demands an explanation, and his jaw works noiselessly before he provides one. “You deserve better than that asshole.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he echoes. He watches her neck as she swallows.

“Okay.”

They pretend like it doesn’t mean anything, and she leaves.

-

He’s the one who finds her in the woods tangled in one of the rope traps he laid out with some of the guys a week earlier.

“You’re an idiot,” he declares, and she glares down at him.

“Shut up, Blake. Get me out of this thing.”

He smirks. “I _could_.”

“I’m going to murder you if you don’t get me down from here.”

She lunges at him when he laughs at her, and he raises his hands in surrender. “I’ll cut you down; don’t worry.”

“Good.” A familiar pout settles onto her face as she relaxes into the net. He pulls out a knife and starts sawing at the thick rope.

“How did you get stuck in this thing?”

“I didn’t expect you guys to leave these things in the middle of what is _clearly_ a walking path.”

“What made you think this was a walking path?”

“A lot of the plants have been cleared out,” she answers. “I _assumed_ that’s because people kept coming through here.”

“It’s a deer path,” he explains, pausing for a second as his knife slips and he nicks his finger. “Shit.” She twists around in the trap to look at him better.

“You okay?”

“Fine. Anyways, that’s why we put these traps here. The deer are really bad at noticing the rope traps.” He smirks. “And apparently, so are cocky mechanics.”

“Shut up,” she says, but she’s smiling. His knife finally works through the rope, and he pulls at the opening until there’s a big enough hole to let her slip through. “Thanks.” She tilts forward as she lands, and he realizes just how close they are.

“Yeah, well, the next time you plan on destroying one of my traps, take a radio with you.” He nudges her shoulder. “You scared us half to death being gone for so long.”

-

She’s been trotting around camp with his shirt on, which she _must’ve_ stolen from his tent, and apparently people respect her a _lot_ more than they like him, because he’s been teased about it all day and she’s gone completely undisturbed.

“Bellamy-”

“If you say a single word about Raven, I’ll end you right now,” he snaps. The guy holds his hand up in surrender, a smug grin forming on his face.

“Calm down, dude. I’m not here to talk about your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my… what do you want?”

He’s there to ask about food, which Bellamy pretends to care about just long enough to get away. It was easier when Clarke was around to deal with the questions he didn’t care about answering. He had more time to himself.

_Girlfriend._ The word rings in his head. _Girlfriend._

-

“What’re you doing?”

“I _was_ working,” Raven says, turning around to face him. “But I’m due for a distraction. What’s up?”

“Nothing.” He rubs the back of his neck absently. “I was just checking on you. Haven’t seen you all day.”

She smiles a little. “Like I said, I’ve been _working_. Some of us actually have jobs around camp, you know.”

“I have a job,” he retorts defensively.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot how _valuable_ being a hot broody asshole is to the camp.” She grins at him, reaching out with her good leg to tap her toe against his knee. His cheeks flush red, though whether it’s from being called out or from being called hot, he’s not entirely sure.

“It’s an art, Raven,” he says instead, flicking back his hair.

“You’re such a loser,” she laughs. “I’m going outside. Fresh air and all that.” She stands up, groaning a little at the feeling. “Ugh, I’ve been sitting for way too long.”

“So it’s a _good_ thing I interrupted you.”

“Don’t get too full of yourself,” she says. “I would’ve gotten up eventually.” He’s still grinning several minutes after she leaves.

-

They’ve both had too much of Monty’s latest brew when they kiss, and Bellamy isn’t aware of much outside of the fact that she definitely should _not_ be that good at kissing when she’s this drunk.

“Y’know I like you, right?” she says afterwards, passing him the bottle. He takes a long swig and hands it back, the alcohol burning its way down his throat.

“I like you, too,” he says back, trying very hard to enunciate.

“Like, sometimes when I see you, I wanna kiss you,” she says. “Would that be okay?”

“Yeah,” he says. A grin lights up Raven’s face. “You’re really pretty.”

She laughs at that. “You’re really pretty too.”

“Thank you.” She leans in, almost falling on top of him, and kisses him again. When she does, he feels like his heart might explode.

-

They wait a week before she shows up in his tent. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” He looks at her blankly before realizing what she means. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” She stuffs her hands awkwardly in her pockets.

“I called you pretty.”

She nods. “We kissed.”

“I remember.” He fights a smile. “It was nice.”

“Yeah.” Her shoulders relax a little. “We could do it again. When we’re not so drunk.” She’s out of her element with actual emotions, and it’s obvious in the way she holds herself.

“We could do it now.”

Her lips are just as soft as he remembers. Her hands rest on his shoulders, and he never wants to move from this spot.

-

“Do you love me?”

It’s been another month, maybe two. It’s hard to tell these days. She’s curled into his side, and he’s certain that she can feel his heartbeat. _Yes_ , he wants to say, and he can feel the word suffocating him, filling his lungs and his heart. He almost answers _I think I might be_ , because love is a terrifying word, but he remembers Finn, remembers how desperately Raven wants to be loved, and nods silently.

“I want to hear you say it,” she says, and still won’t meet his eyes. “Please.”

“I love you,” he responds. “I have for a while now.” He’s not used to saying it to anyone who isn’t family, but when he feels her smile against his chest, he doesn’t regret it at all.

“I love you, too,” she says, and when she moves to kiss him, he almost can’t believe that it was ever about anything _other_ than feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me @ hearteyesreyes on tumblr


End file.
